No one in this world could understand me, 

and no one ever will. 

The book of my story will be forever, sealed.  

        My dreams and my reality, both of them seems to be my reality. I greatly wonder, is my dream, a reality of another choice I've taken? If I connect my past condition and my present situation, this theory might be true, and what I'm experiencing now as my reality would may be dreamt by the me in my dreams as a dream. 

        If so, I will thank you for making that choice, because certainly, my dream is what I've always wished to be my reality, but the dream i dreamt last night, it was the first time I had felt this warmth, but the situation was just so cold, it was a feeling I have always wished to have, but the situation? I don't want it, I never wish that I would bring you any trouble...

...If you can understand the me, then I can understand the you...

        Sometimes I just wonders, what was the difference between today and yesterday? It was only a day, a typical day which we spent our time of life into it, stepping and growing. But still, what was the difference? Sun shines brightly upon the sky during the day, and the Moon shines lonely during the night. Everyday we passed a day, the day will be referred as yesterday, and the day after yesterday will known to be today.

        So, now I wonder, what was the difference between this year, and last year? All I know is, there's nothing different about it. Names are still the same, familiar faces everywhere. Even the pain I thought will begone this year, still clings to my soul. And the road I'm walking, remains the same, no stations to be seen nearby for me to take a stop and relax. Not another soul can enter my world and survive. It's just too hard for a living to live in my world. It's my world, if you're in it, it'll take you down in a minute...

        Actually, at the starting of this year, when I was walking, I found someone who was actually accepted to enter my world. She has a wolf pendant with a ruby carved on it. I thought that she might be someone special, so I think of her as someone who was the painter of my life. Nothing had made me feel confidence, but this was different, when i change the first letter from "Y" to "L", it means "Wolf" in chinese. Wolf is my favourite animal as it resembles lonely wisdoms. And when I turn her name from "L" to "Y", it means "Yin", which literally fits my name "Yang".

        After a few months of stopping my steps to understand her deeper, I realize, that our names might fit each other's, but she don't seem to have the feelings the same way I do to her. Therefore, I decided to let her go, let her roam back into her own world. I will once again, continue my steps into the never, with that wolf pendant of mine, with an obsidian carved on it...

I hate the rain,

so I lent you my power to stop it.

You succeeded,

the rain has finally stopped.

You've saved me,

from the flood in my world.

But it seems,

that the rain has started again.

I tried to hide it,

but it solidify it's form in reality.

And this time,

it seems to fall, everyday.

Friendship - Lycan

In a place where dust was once a man,
reality, was always simple.
In a place where human was a man,
reality, was the cruelest dream.

Fear is the thought that holds us down,
and too, the thought that kept us moving.
For fear to exist in the thought of a mind,
gives the advantage on every battle.

Upon shattered shard am I wandering,
in the mirror house of my mind.
For the shards that exist,
is the origin of these trust.

        Humans are fools, don't you agree? They never think from other people's angle, they only think that they're right, and wrong on other people. They never thought why would this happen, they only thought, why does he act like that? What is wrong with him?

        Why can't human consider from other people's mind? Why won't they think that they are the ones who could possibly be the one who is wrong at start? Why does human have to be this idiotic?! Why won't they think that whether will their spoken words will hurt other's feelings?

        Every human has felt pain, who doesn't? But every external pain can be eventually cured, only those pain in the inside can't be cured... Many people can't endure too much pain, if pain accumulates too much in one's heart, they'll find a way to overcome it. But the inner pain in my heart, no, it is not a stab, not a slash, nor is it a bullet pierced, but ruptured...

        Pain is the only thing that enables one to grow, but of course, it will cause opposite effects if it accumulates too much. My pain even caused me to realize four parts of me:

• The 1st aspect, Loneliness carrier, the Heart, is me who is kind to others and takes in every blame

• The 4th aspect, Emptiness carrier, the Soul, is me who is ready to let go of everything, even emotions

• The 5th aspect, Despair carrier, the Vessel, is me who wish to be able to be able to survive in any situation and withstand any given problems

• The 8th aspect, Insanity carrier, the Mind, is me who is thirsting for adrenaline

        Most people will avoid feeling pain as it is the worst feeling every felt to every single human... For me, I take in all the blame and recall everything I've done in the past before approaching that one again. For someone who has lost all hope, we just walk straight on our path, letting go of anything that wishes to leave, if we saw a slight light of hope, we assume it as an illusion, nothing more and continues to walk straight... I too, hate pain, but I know that pain is the only thing that enables one to grow, one who doesn't feel pain can't truly survive this cruelty world. And so I  defy my own feelings, and went in search of pain, in order to grow...

        This action of mine, has dealt an extreme pain to me, so painful that I hesitated before I did the choice... It was painful, but it was for your good, I think it'll be better this way, I won't have to break my promise in this way too. I'll take on the pain, so please live your life... Happily...