Sometimes I just can't keep myself from wondering... Will you chase after me if I walked away? Will you fight for me when we are having conflicts? And most of all... Will you come looking for me, when I'm gone?

        Hey... I don't know whether you are reading this, but I just feel like this place is the right one for me to speak out. I just want you to know that in this world there is no perfect joy, therefore there is no perfect misery. So, things will get better, just be patient. Oh and, if you ever need someone to talk to, you know I'm here. (:

• Why do humans always look to the sky? Why do you try so hard to fly when you don't have any wings? As for us, we run. - Kiba

        I hope that you can promise me that you will not run anymore, embrace it okay? (:

        My dreams and my reality, both of them seems to be my reality. I greatly wonder, is my dream, a reality of another choice I've taken? If I connect my past condition and my present situation, this theory might be true, and what I'm experiencing now as my reality would may be dreamt by the me in my dreams as a dream. 

        If so, I will thank you for making that choice, because certainly, my dream is what I've always wished to be my reality, but the dream i dreamt last night, it was the first time I had felt this warmth, but the situation was just so cold, it was a feeling I have always wished to have, but the situation? I don't want it, I never wish that I would bring you any trouble...

...If you can understand the me, then I can understand the you...

        I realized, that when I said something harsh to you, or when I regretted doing something that I don't really wish to do to you, I will, find you in my dreams. The truth is, I don't want you to be in my dreams no matter how close we may be in it. I choose reality pain instead of illusionary happiness. If I ever see you in my dreams, can I assume, that you are in depression? If I can, then I would do whatever I can, to prevent you from entering my dreams, or to be more specified, my nightmares.

        Sometimes I just wonders, what was the difference between today and yesterday? It was only a day, a typical day which we spent our time of life into it, stepping and growing. But still, what was the difference? Sun shines brightly upon the sky during the day, and the Moon shines lonely during the night. Everyday we passed a day, the day will be referred as yesterday, and the day after yesterday will known to be today.

        So, now I wonder, what was the difference between this year, and last year? All I know is, there's nothing different about it. Names are still the same, familiar faces everywhere. Even the pain I thought will begone this year, still clings to my soul. And the road I'm walking, remains the same, no stations to be seen nearby for me to take a stop and relax. Not another soul can enter my world and survive. It's just too hard for a living to live in my world. It's my world, if you're in it, it'll take you down in a minute...

        Actually, at the starting of this year, when I was walking, I found someone who was actually accepted to enter my world. She has a wolf pendant with a ruby carved on it. I thought that she might be someone special, so I think of her as someone who was the painter of my life. Nothing had made me feel confidence, but this was different, when i change the first letter from "Y" to "L", it means "Wolf" in chinese. Wolf is my favourite animal as it resembles lonely wisdoms. And when I turn her name from "L" to "Y", it means "Yin", which literally fits my name "Yang".

        After a few months of stopping my steps to understand her deeper, I realize, that our names might fit each other's, but she don't seem to have the feelings the same way I do to her. Therefore, I decided to let her go, let her roam back into her own world. I will once again, continue my steps into the never, with that wolf pendant of mine, with an obsidian carved on it...

        The truth is, I lied, to all, and to me. After some flashback, I realize that the pain I've been through, wasn't much at all. I've been given all needs and satisfaction since young, and never have I been in such terrible pain. Not in the past, not now.

        The only pain I've been through is untrusted and one more, which cannot be revealed. I have been closing my left eye and replace it with my heart to see the world for too long, and I can feel the unfelt, but cannot feel the felt. As for my right eye, which I don't close, don't feel the dire situation I'm in. What is supposed to feel have I not felt, and what is supposed to be abstract to me came into reality to me, feeling those pains shared by others.