Rain has been falling down recently, a symbol of tears and sadness, purifying this land as it descends. Whenever rain comes, I will feel an incomprehensible feeling. That is, I'm always having you in my mind as rain drops. I hate rain as it cools the weather when I like it warm. But at the same time, I love the rain as it reminds me of you which makes me feel not so alone. When rain falls, the requirement of water in my body decreases because my body temperature felt as though it is dropping like the rain, fast, but in a small amount. It felt like, I'm absorbing the rain, to be a part of me.

        Whenever rain falls, yes, I do feel a little depress, but followed by a soft smile as it reminds me of you. And for the thunder that rumbles to disturb the calm sound of the dropping rain is just like the flashback of the past, playing loud and clear in my mind, but only a for a short moment. That's why, I enjoy the sound of a thunder too. I wish that the purity of your smile, will last as long as the life, of the water in the world.

        Life, is about taking chances, never letting anything good bypass, letting only happiness to stay, and forget about all the pain. but little did they know, that life, is nothing more but a fool's play, just like William Shakespeare said... 

        Everyone fears test, so do I. But do I have the option to deny the test? No. Why? Because it is not I who is in control of my own life. I have no choice, no options, no vision and no sights. Only walking blindly, like a walking dead, with a cold skin.

        They say that your life is your own decision, and yet they are wrong. It is not you to decide but decided, by fate. Everything that happened, every dramatic scenes, every single talents that we possess, was all already recorded down in our book of life. Every step we take, we thought it is a big step towards life. This is nothing more but mere vague in life for it is us that was destined to walk down that path, and not our decision that lead us there.

        If you disagree with my beliefs, I'd say, think about it, was it us that chose night and day? Or was it destined to be in it's place? Or let us take an easier example, no matter how far we have walked down our path, we will always end up on the same spot and coordination, and that's the only fate we share - Death...

Friendship - Lycan

In a place where dust was once a man,
reality, was always simple.
In a place where human was a man,
reality, was the cruelest dream.

Fear is the thought that holds us down,
and too, the thought that kept us moving.
For fear to exist in the thought of a mind,
gives the advantage on every battle.

Upon shattered shard am I wandering,
in the mirror house of my mind.
For the shards that exist,
is the origin of these trust.

        Humans are fools, don't you agree? They never think from other people's angle, they only think that they're right, and wrong on other people. They never thought why would this happen, they only thought, why does he act like that? What is wrong with him?

        Why can't human consider from other people's mind? Why won't they think that they are the ones who could possibly be the one who is wrong at start? Why does human have to be this idiotic?! Why won't they think that whether will their spoken words will hurt other's feelings?

        Every human has felt pain, who doesn't? But every external pain can be eventually cured, only those pain in the inside can't be cured... Many people can't endure too much pain, if pain accumulates too much in one's heart, they'll find a way to overcome it. But the inner pain in my heart, no, it is not a stab, not a slash, nor is it a bullet pierced, but ruptured...

        Pain is the only thing that enables one to grow, but of course, it will cause opposite effects if it accumulates too much. My pain even caused me to realize four parts of me:

• The 1st aspect, Loneliness carrier, the Heart, is me who is kind to others and takes in every blame

• The 4th aspect, Emptiness carrier, the Soul, is me who is ready to let go of everything, even emotions

• The 5th aspect, Despair carrier, the Vessel, is me who wish to be able to be able to survive in any situation and withstand any given problems

• The 8th aspect, Insanity carrier, the Mind, is me who is thirsting for adrenaline

        Most people will avoid feeling pain as it is the worst feeling every felt to every single human... For me, I take in all the blame and recall everything I've done in the past before approaching that one again. For someone who has lost all hope, we just walk straight on our path, letting go of anything that wishes to leave, if we saw a slight light of hope, we assume it as an illusion, nothing more and continues to walk straight... I too, hate pain, but I know that pain is the only thing that enables one to grow, one who doesn't feel pain can't truly survive this cruelty world. And so I  defy my own feelings, and went in search of pain, in order to grow...

        This action of mine, has dealt an extreme pain to me, so painful that I hesitated before I did the choice... It was painful, but it was for your good, I think it'll be better this way, I won't have to break my promise in this way too. I'll take on the pain, so please live your life... Happily...

        Solitude... It has always been with me from the start, it helped me in many aspects... But as I grow, I'm starting to feel like escaping from this feeling... I wan't to have more friends... I've struggled very hard, and finally, I've succeeded. 

        Even so, right now, I've realized that my mind only comes when i'm in loneliness... I'm at my best when I'm lonely, whenever I'm lonely, everything comes to mind again, enabling me to absorb every detail and information of my conversations at school and my teacher's teaching, when I'm alone, I'm able to think further from many angles...

        Right now, I have only a single wish, and that's to go to a highland, living there alone with my mind, without any care of disturbance... I as well wish to have a pack that I can live with... To live in solitude, is my only option...